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Secret Love

By Jane

Carter skipped down the corridor of the ER. "I'm as giddy as a school girl" he thought to himself. He had just seen Dave and said "hi." Dave said "hey." 

He was ecstatic with happiness.  "O joy o rapture, my secret love said hey to me!!!!!! But how can I tell him I love him? ho hum." Carter sighed and fixed his stethoscope around his neck.

Ne naw ne naw - an ambulance arrived. He ran out to it.


Dave enters the registration place, he puts his charts away. Dave was just about to leave when he realized he left his 
stethoscope in the suture room. "Damn, I wanted to go home early and practice my boxing."

Randi overheard him and quipped, "Like you need practice." Dave flexed his biceps and Randi giggled, Weaver fainted 
in the background. Stepping over Weaver's body, our hero made his way to the suture room. Someone followed him. 
Dave closed the door thinking he was alone. He couldn't have been more wrong. 

Before the lights went out, Dave heard the `click` of the door locking behind him. "Hey, what the ,ahhhhhhh......"  Dave staggered over and turned on the light.

"Carter!!!" he screamed "What are you doing?" It looked as if Carter was trying to pull down his pants!! But he couldn't be. Could he? 

"Dave, when 2 people are in love they 'consummate' their relationship." Carter beamed. 

"Consum........." Dave gasped, he felt physically sick. Being stronger and cuter than Carter, Dave shrugged him off 
and kicked the door down. 

"What are you doing, lover!!' Carter questioned.

"Getting the hell away from you, you handicapped cunt!!" Carter lunged at Dave, but something pulled him back.

"Hold it right there, gaywad!!" roared a strong Irish accent. Dave turned around to see his hero. He was gobsmacked. 
It was an Irish beauty. She stood on Carters face, "Save yourself, doctor!" she cried.

"I'm not leaving with out you, beautiful stranger" Dave replied.

The Irish girl looked at Dave, "Mmmmmm, he's rather tasty" she thought. "if I wasn't engaged to J, mother frikken, on, I would really like to marry him." 

Dave kicked carter in his non-existent balls. "Ow."

"Let's get our cute butts out of her ladee," Dave said grabbing the Irish lass's shoulder. 

"Not so fast," boomed Benton!!!! "What have u done to my love? Carter, did they hurt you?" he said, fighting back tears. 

"Just a tad, pumpkin." carter whimpered.

"This place is really warped," Dave concluded. "Can I come back to Ireland with you, oh gorgeous one?"

"Alas Dave, no," Graceyjane sighed. "I'm afraid Jon would kill you!" 


"Yes Dave. I'm sorry but his father is better looking then you!!!"

Dave fell to the floor. "Say it ain't so, say it ain't so!"

"He's not your gorgeousest!!!"

"I knew it," Dave beamed.

"Goodbye, Dave."

"Bye bye now lovely one." All too quickly, in a flash of green shamrocks she was gone. Dave didn't see Benton coming up behind him with a knife, but he did remember his stethoscope. "Oh ya," he said bending down.

Benton tripped and stabbed himself with the knife. Just then Lily appeared, "Call house keeping will ya Lily?" Dave asked twirling his stethoscope. 

"Anything for you, Dave" Lily said, kicking Carter outta the way.

"Hey cheap shot!" he wailed.

A line formed behind her. Full of people who hated Carter. The whole ER.

Ne naw ne naw.

Dave ran out to the incoming trauma. "No rest for the wickedly handsome," he sighed.